smashed printer

No Court Would Convict Me

smashed printer

Every now and then, you gotta kill some office equipment.

Last week I finished my first book only three inches short of a complete nervous breakdown. I’d been under the gun for weeks and, as the deadline loomed and it was clear I wouldn’t make it, this printer decided it wasn’t going to work anymore. I lost my shit.

The thing is, I didn’t even try to break it. I gave it a smack, as if that would keep it from claiming there was no paper in it. After the second smack I realized that I wanted to crush the printer way more than I wanted to get it to print. So I followed my nose.

I punched the top of the printer until I couldn’t feel my hand anymore. When I was done, I threw it, spraying crushed glass all over the bedroom I’m using as a makeshift office during my home renovation. Yeah, I renovated my home and wrote a book this August. How was your summer?

My wife rescued me. She didn’t call the police or have me committed, she merely cleaned up the glass and insisted I take a walk. When I returned I was ready for the long haul into night. Fewer than 24 hours later, I typed the final words and sent it off to the publisher.

Tony Russo
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Tony Russo has worked as a print and digital journalist for the better part of the 21st century, writing for and editing regional weeklies, dailies and destination websites including OceanCity.com and ShoreCraftBeer.com. Tony has written two books on beer for the History Press. Eastern Shore Beer (2014) and Delaware Beer (2016). He lives in Delmar, Md. with his wife Kelly and the only of his four daughters who hasn't moved out. Together they keep their dog and cat comfortable.