Everyone has their moments of happiness, frustration, fear and anxiety. I realize that I get out of whack when I am trying to plan too much (yes Brandi, I admitted that) and think of what will happen rather than what is current. Juggling work, family and personal time is a lot of work, but well worth it when it works out for all involved. I tend to worry about everyone around me and managing their happiness and expectations and that can take a toll on a person. Usually when I get to the peak of frustration is when I have the clarity to see what I am doing wrong and that I must change my behavior, otherwise I will not sustain.
For so many years now we have been struggling financially and finally in this last year have taken a hold of that problem and improved our situation. So now that I don’t have finances to worry about, what could I worry about next? Sounds silly you say? But that is how my subconscious works. The health, happiness and well-being of my friends and family is what I tend to worry about, rather than the fact that I am hurting myself by worrying at all.
This weekend will be a big step for me, attending our first multi-day music festival and camping. With the heat wave we have been having, it could be horrendously hot and humid as the last several weeks have. One of those freak thunderstorms could strike with little to know warning with only a tent and a car for shelter. Because those things are purely out of my control, I will be putting my will to the test to try and NOT control the things that occur around me. My mantra for this weekend will be to let things happen as they may and to live in the moment and enjoy the most that I can. I guess you can say I have control issues and that which I cannot control is when I have moments of anxiety. I am fully aware of my behavior and I look forward to coming out the other side of this weekend of living fun and fancy free.
Promises to Myself
- I will not worry about that which I cannot control.
- I will enjoy every moment as it presents itself.
- I will live my life to the best that I can, without concern of those who choose to judge.
- Keep Calm and Chive On