by: Tony Russo
Right here is EVERYTHING you need to know about Ocean City. Enough cash to buy a full page ad because they hate the mayor but not enough taste to make a nice one. This ad is soliciting people to run for mayor. More to the point, it is soliciting people to run for mayor who don’t care if their benefactor is so shallow they would fund something both this ugly and, and this is the point, moronic.
But let’s be clear and fair, the Ocean City elite are primarily real estate agents, the kinds of people who make the rest of the nouveau riche look like Vanderbilts.
But before I really get my hate on for these folks, let’s look at the ad:
We have a George Washington-type guy standing on a palm tree with an ax looking defiantly at the camera.
Now.
The “cherry tree myth” was supposed to demonstrate remorse at having made a mistake a person regrets. The Washington of the legend cuts down the tree and later admitted to it. The man in the photo, who had for some reason cut down a palm tree seems to be saying, “Yeah, I cut it down! Screw you dad, I’ll cut down as many trees as I feel like!”
I spared you the rest of the ad, which lists the Ocean City Mayor’s benefits and salary as an enticement and what can only be described as a metric fuck-ton of incongruous nouns, verbs and adjectives including, but not limited to “Patriot”; “Enabling”; “Private Special Events”; and the old saw “Lower Taxes”.
The best line is: “Conservative, understandings sustainable governance…”
Now let’s pretend all the words in that sentence made sense together (I am the last person on the planet to begrudge someone a typo). What does it mean to “understand sustainable governance”? I’ve been thinking about it for days and remain utterly puzzled.
It’s easy to blame the paper that ran the ad, even if they didn’t compose it, but if someone offered me money to let them make an ass of themselves, I would probably take it too.
What’s frightening is the person or group that took the ad aren’t deluded that they are movers and shakers. They are movers and shakers.
Ladies and gentleman I give you the Ocean City elite.