Tales From the Chair: My Mother Is On Facebook

By: Colby Kaufman

I can certainly say that I am one of those people that has truly enjoyed being on Facebook.  Being a “social butterfly” my entire life, having a place where I can constantly talk and express myself, even if it is just to a wall, is fun.  A lot of times my statuses are things that randomly pop into my head, or I overhear people say, and I share them in hopes to either give someone a smile or even just something to think about.  Plus having a constant connection to your family, friends and loved ones (DB), makes it a great tool.

The day I got a friend request from my mom I actually pretended at first I didn’t see it.  How the heck did my mom figure out facebook, she can barely log onto the Internet, yet alone send an email without me doing it for her.  Anyway, after several phone calls about “what does this mean?” and “did you get my friend request?”, I finally accepted.  Well as most of you know, working with 200 guys and having 3 brothers I tend to have a little bit of a sailor mouth on occasion…..so it was only a matter of a few days before I received this call: “Sweetie, hi…as your mother I just feel that using words like shit and ass aren’t really necessary when your posting something on FB, can’t you change it?”  Of course mom, next time I will say “poop or butt” if that makes you feel better…..”thank you sweetie”…..it’s already started!  I do admit I tend to freely express myself and this past summer I took a rough time in my life and vented it through humor.  Anyway, getting back to my mother….a few things my mom does on FB that I actually find quite cute and humurous…..She takes things far too literally. So if you ask, “What’s on your mind?” as Facebook prompts people to in status updates ……she answers in her status “I wish I knew….it would be a good starting point”……She makes up emoticons. :)))):…..I have NO idea what this means…..Sometimes, she makes sense. These are the scariest moments of all.  My mother wrote this when she first joined FB, ON HER OWN WALL: “Sorry I missed you, look forward to catching up with you, how have you been?”…..Yes the blonde hair is real….She will randomly post things to my wall she wants me (and everyone else) to see and even on occasion, she will ask me if its ok.  I can’t imagine what it would have been like if there had been facebook when I was in high school! I may have delayed that friend request acceptance for as long as I could!

I will say this about my mother, she has taught me strength, love, acceptance, forgiveness, how to be a mother myself, and most importantly how to follow the Lord.  So the next time I am writing a status and you see the word “poop or butt”, know that that is because I had a quick reminder that YES my mother is on Facebook.