Turkey and Football. That’s what America DOES!

Is there any holiday more quintessentially American than Thanksgiving? And it’s not because it is supposed to celebrate a feast held between the Pilgrims and Native Americans in this country’s infancy. It’s 100% American because we honor it with amazing displays of turducken-potato-cranberry-pie gluttony and giant helium-filled nightmares on strings in a department store sponsored parade that ends with pant-less chicks that kick really high and Santa reminding us that the commercial holiday season is upon us. Then we watch football. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! It is hands down my favorite day of the year.

As I prepare to head back home for the long Thanksgiving weekend, I have made it my personal mission to fit everything I’ll need to pack into a carry on sized bag. To be sure, this is going to be a heavy task indeed. In addition to the obvious Thanksgiving-dinner-with-the-fam clothing, I need to also pack clothes to wear to the bar, a Christening, a holiday party, a prison visit, and all of my (admittedly excessive) Ravens game day gear for Thursday nights Harbaugh Bowl. You do not want my problems, people.

For all of my rampant smart-assness, I’m actually a pretty grateful, grounded person. I count my blessings throughout the year instead of only during the holiday season when it’s in vogue. It’s so easy to spout doom and gloom, what with the world and economy going to hell in a hand basket and all. That’s why I choose to view the world through thick, rose colored and sarcastic coke-bottle lenses. And no, coke-bottle is not a euphemism for drug-fueled. As far as you know.

So on this holiday, born from a feast our ancestors had with the native people before they slaughtered them all, take some time to be grateful for what you have instead of focusing on what you don’t. This year I am most thankful for:

– My health and self-depreciating sense of humor

– The personal sacrifice of every single past, present, and future man and woman to serve in the U.S. armed forces.

– Hurricane Irene sparing Ocean City from her devastating wrath.

– Wine and sushi

– Having a job and a working car in this shitty, crumbling economy

– Laughing with friends until my face hurts

– Unconditional tail-wagging, enthusiasm, and puppy kisses whenever I step foot inside my house, whether I’ve been gone for 3 minutes or 9 hours.

– My family, friends, and every person to have come in and out of my life. Even the assholes and crazies; they make me appreciate everyone else even more

– Days and nights at M&T Bank Stadium with 70,000+ of my closest like-minded and demented friends

– Pizza flavored Goldfish crackers

– To live in a place where I can walk on the beach whenever I want, and where people probably raise more fundraising dollars per capita than pretty much anywhere

– Ozzie Newsome’s decision to draft wide receiver Torrey Smith

– Four seasons; daffodils in the spring, beach time in the summer, brightly colored leaves in the fall, and the absolute stillness of a landscape blanketed in fresh snow in the winter. Also, seasonal beers.

What are you thankful for? Please share. If your first thought is “The chance to opt out of reading ridiculous about-nothing blogs”, then touche’ my friend. Touche’.