Weekend Survival guide

Most survival guides are written for people going INTO the wilderness, so I wanted to apply the same basic skills for locals in OC when the wild (close to 800,000) descend upon our habitat.
 
First Basic Survival Skill – Fire
Fire can be used to your advantage  – If you see a “zombie” walking down the street at 8 o’clock stumbling home from happy hour a simple flash light or headlight flash is enough to stun a non-indigenous person enough to allow you to pass with out threat of being groped or vomited on.

Second Basic Survival Skill – Shelter
Stay away from non-indigenous people sleeping in the cars, bushes or on occasion your own car or porch. Just remember, waking someone up may startle them so you be kind while asking some one to leave your couch.
 
Third Basic Survival Skill – Signaling
The non-indigenous are wildly unfamiliar with the basic methods of signaling.  Even it it is commonplace in their own eco-system they are still likely to completely misuse signals (i.e. from the right lane while turning making a left)

Fourth  Basic Survival Skill – Food and Water
As we learned the other day, you can boil water on a sea shell but what wasn’t mentioned was that beer is mostly water and you can drink beer out of a shell.
 
Fifth Basic Survival Skill – First Aid
Wear sunscreen during the day and sweat shirts in the evening when the cool air hits your sun-kissed skin.  This weekend, when it is warm during the day and cool at night the tell tale sign of the non-indigenous are the ones that are still dressed at night if it was like 90 degrees out .