Random Things I’ve been Instructed To Bring To Holiday Parties I’ve Been Invited To In The Past

by: Bryan Russo

1. An Imperishable Food Item or Canned Good (Preferably Yams for some reason)
2. An Unwrapped/Unopened Toy (as if I was going to play with the tonka toy before gifting it)
3. The largest bottle of Gin in a plastic bottle I can find (Deck the Halls with Morr-i-ssey….Fa La La…La La)
4. Cheese Dip (no comment needed…because cheese dip is always needed)
5. Napkins featuring Holiday Themes
6. Ham (sliced or on the bone, and even on one occasion ‘chipped’)
7. Aaron Neville’s Xmas Album (which I have actually never owned)
8. My Smiling Face
9. “The money you owe me”
10. Egg Nog
11. My dancing shoes
12. My Best ‘Cosby’ Sweater
13. Ten bucks to buy the party hosts a gift
14. My VHS copy of “A Christmas Story”
15. My wife