By Bryan Russo

Below is a hypothetical track listing of (what we hope will always be) the mythical Christmas album released by Mr. Christmas himself: Kanye West.

  1. O Little Town of Chi-Town featuring Common
  2. Jingle My Bells
  3. Santa’s Scrimpin’ (a harsh protest against St. Nick and his apparent lack of gift giving in the ghetto)
  4. Greatest X-Mas Of All Time, (A rap battle with Santa, featuring Taylor Swift singing the hook)
  5. Christmas Time is Here (featuring Alvin and the Chipmunks)
  6. (I’m) Santa Baby!
  7. Gold Digger ‘09 (Christmas re-mix) featuring Jamie Foxx (still pretending to be Ray Charles)
  8. Diamonds From Miss Dionne (featuring Dionne Warwick)
  9. Blue Christmas (an auto-tune masterpiece duet with T-Pain)
  10. O’ Christmas Tree (You Ain’t As Dope As Me)
  11. Hark the Herald Hear Me Sing, Angels….(featuring Diddy)
  12. (I wish that I had) Jay-Z’s Girl