by Bryan Russo

This time of year, businesses will do anything to get holiday shoppers in the front door.

Accordingly, they want to show the masses that they have a general malaise of holiday cheer and a moral sense of tradition, all while encouraging the patrons to open their wallet while the kids ask the rent-a-santa for toys that are far beyond the elves magical craftsmanship as they vigorously snap photos for future “fireplace art.”

However, some holiday promotions just don’t and will never work.

Such As:

Yoga with Santa

Whiskey Nite with the Jolly Old Elf

Last Call with Santa

HO-HO-HO it up…get a free sleigh ride home in the morning.

Up on the Rooftop Line Dancing

Meet Santa at Hot Topic (get on free tube of guyliner)

Swimming with St. Nick

Elf Wars

“I got Crabs From Santa”….(Santa works the Buffet Line)

Pin Santa, Get A Christmas Wish (for the WWE fan in all of us…held at local high school gym)

Tweet Santa….

Flu Shots From Santa